Top 5 Most Silly Recent Madawaskan Foibles

5. I was asked out by an 8th grader last week.

4. I was recently told by a man who was cooking stew that I would make a good wife for somebody someday because I can cook for myself.

3. Due to cold and snow, several high school ski races were postponed a couple weeks ago. High school ski races are a joke (start/finish lines marked by a coach's ski poles, and kids skiing so slow that they might as well just take off their skis and do sommersaults around the course). Anyway, in order to make up for the postponed races, there were four scheduled for last week. It showed about as much forethought as when Dave asked Aditya to put sunscreen on his back in Costa Rica.

2. After both of the ski club's snowmobiles recently broke down, I was engaged in a total of 2.5hrs of discussion on the pros and cons of snomobile specs I knew absolutely nothing about. I was then obliged to call the ski area in Steamboat to ask if they would sell us a groomer for cheap, as if I could just give the president of the company a ring and ask for a favor. They didn't understand that it would be akin to calling Delta Airlines and asking to speak with the CEO about buying a jet engine at half price. I instead called my dad, and pretended to speak to a ski area exec. They peope here bought it.

1. The only pizza place in town, Jeff's, burned down on Tuesday in a raging fire that was only spotted by people who had snuck out on the roof of the mill to smoke. People began calling shortly after to invite me to watch the blaze, which was fed by more than a ton of heating pellets and a backdraft-esque explosion that occurred when the firemen opened the door to the heating pellet room. Luckily there is a vacant pizza restaurant two blocks away that everone expects Jeff's to move into shortly.